Section five

The Hard Conversations

The redlines. The documents. The 1:49am phone call.

We have some hard redlines that we'd talked about for a long time: no intubation, no dialysis, no more transplants. Of course these redlines could be modified under the right conditions. But there is a point when you know what the right thing to do is — and when intervention is just making life miserable.

The gift you give each other by having these conversations early is immeasurable. At 1:49am when the hospitalist calls, you don't have time to figure out what they would have wanted. You need to already know.

Coming soon

Full Comfort Care

Knowing what those words mean before you hear them at 1:49am. The most important three words in end-of-life care.

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The Redlines Conversation

How to have it before you need it. What to cover, how to document it, and how to revisit it as circumstances change.

Coming soon

Advance Directives, DNRs, and Wills

Plain English guide to the legal documents every caregiver needs. Not scary — necessary.

Coming soon

Palliative vs. Hospice

What the words actually mean. The difference between managing symptoms and accepting the end.

Coming soon

Lonna's List

The patient perspective. What she wished the caregiver knew. No sacred cows.

Coming soon

Have the conversation before you need to have the conversation.

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“I can only hope that in my final hours I have a compassionate advocate taking care of me.”
— Casey King, 3:50am, July 29 2025